Our Bump In The Road

Life is a continuous up and down, bumpy road. We can not see often what lies ahead of us because of the bump in the road that is towering over us. It is so powerful sometimes that it overshadows us. The only place we can look and see light is by looking straight up. Sometimes these bumps knock us down. The only thing to do when life knocks you down is to pray. This life is filled with little blessings though along the way. These blessings come in the form of family, friends, notes, words of encouragement, and a million other things. You just have to be still to see them. 

I chose to write this after much contemplation for many reasons. 

1. I love to write and it is an outlet for me.

2. I have read stories of others going through this and it has greatly encouraged me.

3. I hope to be an encouragement to someone who reads this.

4. I seek your prayers, not pity, by any means.

5. I desire to look back at this one day and see how God has used this "bump" in the road for His glory. 

So here we go,

Here is that big capital "I" word that no one wants to speak of or even that big "M" word. If you are a woman, you know exactly what those words are. Yep, that's right Infertility and Miscarriage.

Here's our story:

Chris and I decided we were ready for a child and so July 2012 we started "trying." No stress, no worries, this should be a piece of cake! December 2012, New Year's Eve, I just "knew it." I took a pregnancy test and BAM! Pregnant. I was in shock. I ran out of the bathroom and told Chris. He was playing his Xbox. He immediately jumped up to see the test. I remember him pacing around upstairs. I think he was in disbelief, just like me! It happened pretty quickly...no problem-O! 

I remember thinking what a blessing this was to happen so easily and quickly. I prayed each morning for this miracle but I also prayed for my friends who were "trying." I wanted them to experience what I was experiencing....a blessing that is indescribable!

On Friday, January 18, we went to our first doctor's appointment. Doctor said, "This is going to be a perfect pregnancy!" (Thanks for the encouragement doc.) We actually got to do an ultrasound because we were unsure just how far along I was. And to the ultrasound tech's surprise....we heard the best sound....it was beautiful. A little heartbeat....measuring at 6 weeks. We decided to tell our parents that weekend because we were so excited and just had to tell someone! 

On Monday, January 21, I began to bleed (sorry tmi, but true). Luckily, it was MLK day and we were off from school. My mom took me to the doctor. Our little one was still in there but the heartbeat was declining. I was told to go home and prop my feet up and relax. Oh yeah! Relax? How can I do that? So for two days I laid there on the couch.....miserable. Tuesday I woke up and my pain and aches were all gone. No pain. I knew it was over. That morning, it happened. The BIG M word. Again, I went to the doctor with Chris and they confirmed it. 

Hardest thing we have ever experienced as a couple. First time I have ever seen him cry.

Our hearts were broken, just shattered. No other way to describe it.

Doctor says that it is common for women to miscarry once. (Not encouraging, neither is it encouraging when people say, well at least you can get pregnant...by the way).They really don't start testing for things until it has happened twice. (Oh No! There is no way I can go through this pain again.)

Slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece, we picked up ourselves and moved forward. Looking back, we were so blessed to see our little miracle even just for a moment. We will forever have an angel watching over us. We will one day be reunited in heaven with our baby and that gives us hope.

Our Little Blessing

Then....fast forward to this summer. All in a whirlwind, this all happened so quickly. I made an appointment to see my gyno because of my long cycles. When I went, I suspected I was pregnant, so they did a blood test to check my hcg levels. They called the next day and said yes, i was pregnant but said the levels were really low and to come back on Monday to see if they went up like they were supposed to. Monday I went, Tuesday they called...levels were 0. In nurses terms, "failed pregnancy." 

Sad? Yes. Frustrated? Oh yes! It happened so quickly this time that we really never had time to get excited and then let down again. Now we are at the point of just wanting answers. 

Why is this happening?

Well a little blessing in disguise...luckily I had gone to the doctor on that specific day. Otherwise this would not have been recognized as my "Second" miscarriage. Remember, you have to have two before they do any tests. Didn't think I could go through this again and I did. 

 I have a doctor who I LOVE. She is awesome. She said she can be aggressive with finding out what is going on or sit back, its up to me. We chose the first choice. So she did all the hormone tests, everything came back "normal." I go in a few short weeks for more tests, including an ultrasound and blood tests. 

So that is where we are now. Waiting. The hardest part. Waiting. And More Waiting. Praying. Waiting some more. Trying to stay busy. Waiting. Praying. It's been exactly one year of ttc. 

I have rough days if I let it get the best of me. But I know that God is taking this Mess and is turning it into our Message so that He can be glorified. Glory be to Him and Him alone...no matter what. 

I have so much more to type, but I will save it for another day, so I will leave you with this. This verse gives me peace during these difficult times. God knows what we need, just at the right time. 

His grace is all we need and His power is magnified through my weakness.

And It's SummerTime!

I haven't posted since December! What have we been up to? LIFE! Life has been crazy, but the good news is...Its' SUMMA'TIME! 

My last post was about the craft room. And yes, we finished remodeling the room that was to be the craft room. We had some bumps along the way so it took longer than planned and the funny thing is...I still don't have a craft room. We have two identical empty rooms upstairs. One of the rooms, I decided was going to be the craft room. We remodeled it: scraped the walls, scraped the ceiling, installed new base board, installed crown molding, added 4 new lights. Chris decided when we finished that it should be the "baby room". Don't get excited, no baby yet. So we are leaving that room, for a future child. The other empty room will be my "craft room." So temporarily, it is set up just like my old craft room. Here are pics of the updated "future baby" room. (PRAYERS WELCOME FOR A BABY) 

Very clean and nice!

In the meantime, what else have we been doing? Yes, of course, another project. BACKYARD MAKEOVER! Our backyard was a hot mess when we moved in and slowly over time we have been working on it. The guy before us used to park his Bronco in the backyard and had a dog that tore up everything. I can only imagine what he used to do in the backyard based on the things Chris has dug up during this process....BB gun, beer cans, tennis balls, etc.

Here is a pic of our magnificent backyard when we moved in.....

Rotten deck

Random mini-fence around the pool...

 Overgrown weeds, ugly deck, and random fence, not to mention rotten railroad ties...

A few years ago, we tore down the random small fence, and eventually we tore down the deck. It still did not look very nice though.

Here is a pic before we started remodeling the backyard this year. Oh yeah, we also had to redo the pool. Who builds a pool lower than the ground around it? We had to redo the entire backyard. A lot of the work that was done you can not see because the main bulk of it is piping that Chris installed underground for drainage.

 Want to swim?!

We are finally coming to an end on this project, I finally have our screen porch back and we can walk in and out of the backyard without being covered in mud. I would say we are about 85% done now with our backyard. The sod goes in next week and Chris has a few more small things to do before we are 100%.  We will paint the fence and retaining wall in the fall. So here it is now! I'm in love with our backyard. Also, I must send a shout out to All Clean Pools for doing a fabulous job on giving our pool a complete makeover!

AND TA-DA! OUR BACKYARD NOW....

excited for the grass to come next week & Bentley is too.

AND A HUGE SHOUT OUT TO OUR FRIENDS THAT HAVE HELPED US ALONG THE WAY.... DAVID,BEN, KENT, KEN, & JOE!

Craft Room Underway....

So here is how this all started....

In my spare time on pinterest over this holiday break....

I decided I wanted to paint the walls of the craft room....

and it turned into something bigger than just painting.

Chris decided we needed to strip the walls. I am not arguing with that though.

Once we got going on the walls, we discovered there were several layers of paint and wallpaper and border. There was....pink, brown, hunter green, mint green, flowers, sports gear, and khaki color on top. Let's just day that room was bigger when we finished.

Here are a few pics of the before, during, and after of stripping the walls.

 Before...boring craft room

 Beginning to strip the walls

Walls finally finished...no more 1970's wallpaper or paint

Then after stripping the walls we decided that we should just go ahead and scrape the ugly popcorn ceiling. This was very messy, but well worth it, and very easy.

 Bye Bye Popcorn ceiling. We can't have you in our house anymore.

 Scraping the ceiling

All finished!

And so this is where we are now. Bare walls, Bare ceiling. Makes me happy. It is like a blank canvas just waiting to be painted. But first, we have to do some more prep work to the walls. And Chris has decided to add some more lighting to the room.

This hard work will pay off soon :)

Happy Remodeling,

Chris & Jane

Craft Room Remodel

I love my two-week vacation from work! I am able to do stuff around the house that I usually do not have time for. It is just wonderful. I have a craft room in upstairs that I spend lots of time in. It is like a "woman cave" instead of a man cave (thanks hubby!) Chris has been so sweet to add some shelves to my closet and on the walls and also set up a tv in there for me. Well with all of this extra time at home, I have been on pinterest and my gears have started turning for a craft room makeover. Here are some of the pictures that are inspiring me....

Source: The Crafster

**I couldn't find the source. I got this pic from pinterest.

Source: Scrapbook.com

Do you notice a theme? Yes the BLUE walls! I love it. So here are the plans...I need to paint the walls a robin's egg blue. Hang a dainty chandelier. Maybe an accent wall. And have Chris help me create a craft table like the one in the last picture. 

Pictures to come soon....

Drop Cloth Curtains

I love spending the weekends catching up on Pinterest projects and other crafts I have been dreaming about....especially when they are SUPER cheap and easy projects. 

The hardest room to decorate in our house has been our living room because it has a fireplace on one wall, a huge window on the other wall, and doorway openings on the other walls. It is one of my favorite rooms....but it has been tricky to arrange the furniture in it. 

I decided the room needed to be "dressed up" with some curtains. Well, of course, on a budget I can not just go buy luxurious curtains. And of course, I always try making everything myself before I buy. I found how to make drop cloth curtains on Pinterest....they were so easy to make!

Here is what you need:

Two 6' X 9' drop cloth panels from Lowes (about 20 dollars for both)

An iron/ironing board

Patience

Curtain Rod

Curtain Clips

All you have to do is IRON, IRON, IRON until all of the creases are out of the drop cloths. Then, since we have 8 foot ceilings, I folded the top of the drop cloths over about a foot and ironed a crease into them. Then, I simply hung them up by the clips! I love them (especially since they were only $20...can't beat that!)

I also made the tiebacks on the curtains with scrap burlap.....

I cut two strips of burlap, ironed the edges over to make smooth creases, and the hot glued the edges down. Then, I added 3 rosettes to each and attached with hot glue. Easy as that! Here is the link where I learned how to make the rosettes....you have to practice on a few before you get the hang of it.

Restore Interiors

And then Grace Showed Up...

I am sure most of you have heard at least one teacher complain about his/her job. With mounting stress of evaluations, school mergers, common core, and a plothera of over things going on with our schools, it is easy to become overwhelmed. It is easy to begin planning. I begin to question "Is this what I am supposed to do forever?" "Why did God call me to do this?" "Will I really be working on the weekends, before and after school, and in the summer for the rest of my life?""Is this what I had pictured this job being?"

I wonder these things quite often.
I begin "planning" my future the way I want it. The way I dream of it being.
I plan/dream for a new career. I also pray for these things too.

With the career of teaching becoming harder than ever, it has drawn me closer to God, for that I am thankful. I have to fully rely on the Savior each day when I walk in that school building.

My best quiet time is on the way to school, driving in my car. I ask for strength, wisdom, peace, and patience for myself so I can serve and teach the kids.

As the school day trucks along it is easily to get caught right back up in the stress and anxieties.
I pause for a moment. I ask myself those questions above. Then, grace shows up and calms me down. Then, I realize why I was called to this job and it is simply for ONE reason and ONE reason only...the kids.

No matter the stress, no matter the issues, no matter the evaluations, no matter the other mess that can go on in my day, I am reminded to just BE and just BE with the kids. Yes, easier said than done.

When I began my devotional today, I wept. I wept because the message was just what I needed this morning. It starts off like this....

"YOU WILL NOT FIND MY PEACE BY ENGAGING IN EXCESSIVE PLANNING: ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IN THE FUTURE."

and it ends like this....

"TURN FROM THE PATH OF PLANNING TO THE PATH OF PEACE."

( FROM JESUS CALLING)

This is what is on my heart this morning, I can not experience peace with trying to make my own plans. I have often heard it said that God laughs at our plans. We can not control our future because our steps are directed by Him.

Therefore today, I will ask for peace when I find myself "planning." I encourage you to do the same. I will just BE.

-With Grace,
Jane

Hey God! It's Me...I'm listening.

It has been two weeks and 5 days since we returned from Ethiopia. I have been waiting for the perfect time to sit down and write and reflect on what we experienced. I am slowly but surely processing those 10 days that I was in Ethiopia...the 10 days that I have felt the closest to God ever than before.

First of all, thank you to the prayer warriors and supporters who were our angels along the way lifting us up! I truly felt your love. Also, thank you to the people who ever so faithfully read the blog while we were there. If you missed it, you can still read about our journey day by day- The Forasken Children.

Here is what I am processing now. The hardest part about the trip was returning home and being filled with a new love, a new desire, and new spark, and so eager to share with those around. But it wasn't the same. If you have ever been on a mission trip, you might can understand where I am going with this. You try to share and you try to explain what you just witnessed, what you just experienced, and how God moved in you, but there are just no perfect words. No one truly understands, unless they actually experienced it themselves. It is kind of cool though, it is like God and you have this connection and it's like a little light that burns in your heart....you want to let it shine so bright for everyone to see, but the things of this world blinds those around you from seeing it. But it is not anyone's fault...it is just one of those things "you have to see it to believe it!"

 People ask me, why did you choose Ethiopia? What made you want to go there? That is a question that I have not been able to answer either. I have no clue why I chose to go there over somewhere else. I remember explaining one time on our trip that God often reveals things that He is trying to teach to me much later than anticipated. He always shows up when I least expect it...So still trying to process the trip, I was laying out in the sun the other day reading my Bible. I opened up to Ephesians and began reading it. Ephesians 3:19 says, "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully." Keep that verse in mind as you read on. The greatest thing that stuck out in my mind about the people of Ethiopia is that they showed the love of Christ far more and far greater than I have ever seen before....that is one thing that was certain and it has stuck with me ever since. The thought of their kind spirits and humbleness has been etched in my mind and heart forever. As I was reading the book of Ephesians the other day, God revealed to me a small piece of what He has been trying to teach me all along. "May you experience the love of Christ" (that is completely what I experienced on this trip---more than I ever have in my life! )"Though it is too great to understand fully."(God gently taught me...Jane! You are never going to fully understand my love for you...That's why you are human and I am God!) I imagine that God was chuckling at the fact that I just now realized He is fully in control and I will never understand everything. So maybe I am never going to understand why I went to Ethiopia or why God chose to send me there. But one thing is certain, I experienced the LOVE of Christ! Praise God for that!

I have so much to share, I could write a novel...no, really I could. I am sure there will be another blog or two or three about Ethiopia. One last thing I will say is that we were supposed to go to Ethiopia and share about Christ and to love on the children....well we did that for certain! But I was surprised when I realized those children loved on me more than I have ever been loved on by a child before and they taught me about Christ more than I have ever been taught about Christ in my whole life.